Stuck at a crossroads

A warrior cannot complain or regret anything.  His life is an endless challenge, and challenges cannot possibly be good or bad.  Challenges are simply challenges. C Castaneda: Tales of Power.

I had a chat with a friend recently about being yet again at a crossroads in life and feeling stuck, not knowing what to do.

This post is dedicated to my friend and to all of us who find crossroads along life’s journey a place of dilemma, conflict and ‘stuckness’.

Whether we get to these crossroads by choice or force, this stuck feeling pressures us into thinking ‘I must move on’ and find a solution.

The dilemma may seem between safety and unpredictability, but these I believe are not inherently separate states, they are actually both needed and support each other.  Safety is the base that gives us the possibility to explore ideas in a safe way and unpredictability allows potential possibilities to emerge.

If we view the crossroads as a problem that needs solution, then the solution becomes the problem itself because any choice either way will leave the other unfulfilled.

The challenge is to develop a crossroads mentality and to see unresolved dilemmas as a place of discovery.  Dilemmas of two or more possible ways to follow are often more about the sense we have of our general direction in life that this or that choice.

Crossroads mentality offers us the opportunity to find new possibilities in existing situations.  The aim is not to numb our fears but to get a wider sense of our purpose in life together with the possibilities and risks.  From this place, if things don’t work to plan, we can tolerate and deal with the disappointment.

So how are we to develop a crossroads mentality?  We can do this by looking into self-imposed limits – think speed limit – especially the limits that indicate that we cannot withstand or tolerate the possibilities and risks life brings our way.

The thing is that the only way to be fully engaged in life is to allow some of life’s lures in.

Another way is play.  Especially role-play; with someone or on our own.  Here is one that I find useful.  Use blank sheets of paper, each representing a possibility or direction to follow, name this possibility and write each on a separate sheet and place them on the floor.  Step into each possibility and speak from that state, describe the possibilities as well as the risks.  Move between the states noticing your energy, posture and voice.  Can you bring any of the attractions of that state into your life now? Can they support the greater sense of you in the world?

If we tolerate crossroads states, we will allow new possibilities to emerge away from our self-imposed demands and expectations.

crossroads

Advertisement